THE CHARTER FOR COMPASSION

New Car? I think yes :)

So, a year or so ago, my mom got this dodge neon, which I have been driving around since.  We got it from a Ford Dealership, and the guy swore to my mom that it was a good car (after she insisted she didn't want a dodge, because they always give her issues).  Well, when it hit about 80,000 miles, the transmission started giving us major issues.  It would slip, and sometimes the car wouldn't even start.  It would make jerking movements and not go into gear when you were driving slower, and you'd have to turn it off and back on just to drive normally.  It eventually got to the point where it would slip at least once within a 30 minute drive (which was a pain going to work, and really scary when you're driving on the freeway).  So, we thought of ways to work out the situation, whether it being to let the repossess the car, or just getting the transmission fixed.  The amount my mom was paying for the car was somewhere between $10k and $12k, and I discovered a neon in good shape is around $5.  So, she sent the dealership a scathing e-mail, and they quickly responded.  While I was in New Mexico for vacation, they asked her to take the car in so they could look at it.  After running tests, they determined the worth of the car was around $2k.  That is SIGNIFICANTLY lower than what she was paying for the lemon.  So, they worked it out, and now she is buying a 2003 Ford Explorer from them instead :).  They rolled over the difference between what she paid and the worth of the car, and applied it to the Explorer, and we are paying $10,300 for it.  A 2003 Explorer in excellent condition on Kelly Blue Book (with the features ours has) is worth about $12.5k.  I am so excited!!!  Anyway, here is a picture!

It's a nice dark green, it has 56k miles, a 6-CD changer, 3 power outlets, a DVD player, running boards for us short ladies, and a sun roof that opens all the way up :).  It doesn't have third row seats, which is a bummer, but I think it does have the capabilites.  Oh, and mom's major factor for buying it rather than a more economic car?  It has 4x4 so I can drive up to Snowbird in the winter when it snows :).  Yay mom!

Leapt. Fell. Time to get back up.

So...  I took a leap.

I fell.

Now it's time to get back up.

To keep things short and sweet (and less painful for me), we'll just say that things with Rob didn't work out.  Our current living situations are not conducive to a relationship, and things are officially over.  He is completely out of my life, at least for the time being, and we both believe it is for the best.  If it's meant to work out between us, it will in the future, but not for now.  I would rather not think about a future between us, because it will come back to bite me in the butt, and cause more pain.  So... as I said, we'll leave it at us being officially over.

So... what do you do when you love someone more than anything, and then have to find a way to survive without them?

I guess you learn to love yourself more than you love them.

I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life, in it's current state.  Not about my future, but about the here and now.  I know I've posted before about goals, but I'm a procrastinator and always give up.  But for realsies this time, I want to achieve my goals, and improve myself.  Someone tried to tell me that I don't need to change myself, but this isn't about changing myself... it's about improvement.  So, here are some ways I'd like to improve myself!

• I'd like to improve my relationship with my dog.  I mean, I walk her, and she sleeps in my bed, and we go together like PB & J, but I'd really like to spend more time with her, going out.  I'd like to be able to take her to the dog park, and socialize her with more dogs and people.  I'd like to be able to take her to parties and just let her run around and not worry about her running loose haha.  
• I'd like to start working out.  Although losing weight would be a benefit, it's more of a desire to be more healthy and athletic than to lose weight.  I'd like to be able to run and play sports without feeling like I'm going to die by the end of the game.  This also goes hand-in-hand with being closer to Ginny, because we can go running and play at the dog park more.
• I'd like to spend more time outdoors.  This includes hiking, biking, walking, camping, fishing...  you name it, I wanna do it!
• I'd like to pick up a hobby that could potentially be very successful in my future...  whether its improving my ability to knit or sew, or if it's some kind of service to people... I don't know.  I just want it to be cool, and unique.  
• I'd like to read more books.  I totally forgot how much I love to read, until I started working at my job, and gained a ton of free time.  Sometimes, it's just a wonderful feeling to be sucked into a book, and imagine yourself in a place that can be left up totally to your imagination.  
• I'd like to improve my friendships with the wonderful friends in my life, that I have been blessed to know.  I'm sorry I've been distant, it's hard without school, and with a job where I see none of you :(.  But seriously, lets be friends again :)

Well, I guess these are just a few things.  I'll add more as I think them up.

Please don't ask me questions about what happened between Rob and I, because I don't really like to think about it.  I'm pretty happy and content most the time, because my focus is on making myself happy, and I'd rather not dwell on the pain (meaning, if I think about him, it will not be about those negative things, but about the positive things we had, and asking me would just bring up those negative things).  

Let's hang out!  Let's pick up a hobby!  Let's write memories, and enjoy every moment of what we create :)

Love, peace, and chicken grease!